Category Archives: Random Style

Separated at birth – Jason Derulo and I

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Thanks to Finn for sending me his favourite books, songs and flicks.

Very proud ‘Shot, Boom, Score!’ made the list along with my doppelganger (above).

A muse called Morrissey

A muse called Morrissey

While reading Morrissey’s autobiography, it struck me that this lyrical virtuoso should lend his skills to struggling authors looking for catchy book titles. Don’t you think these songs would make great novels?

Because of my poor education
Children in pieces
Death at one’s elbow
Don’t make fun of daddy’s voice
Every day is like sunday
William it was really nothing
Hairdresser on fire
How soon is now?
It’s not your birthday anymore
Pregnant for the last time
Stop me if you think you’ve heard this before
Shakespeare’s Sister

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Free credit!

That moment when your name appears on the credits for one of your favorite films (in this case WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE) yet you never lifted a finger. And are definitely not a special effects technician.

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Bruce Springsteen for President

Bruce Springsteen for President

This picture was taken last night at Bruce Springsteen’s epic show in Auckland, New Zealand. He opened with a rendition of Lorde’s ‘Royals’ before embarking on a set list which made those lucky enough to be there smile like drunken goons.

His version of ‘Born to Run’ made me laugh out loud it was that damn good. And that’s what surprised me most. I never expected to laugh at a Bruce gig. He drags willing punters on stage to play his guitar and dance with his band. He’s a star but he’s ain’t precious. He’s the likable neighbor who hit the big time and wants everyone to join the party.

By the time he finished the entire ‘Born in the USA’ album I wanted to bow to him as if he were some kind of Rock God sent from space. Which makes this keynote speech at SXSW even cooler. Yes it’s an hour long – yes you’ll love it.

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X-Treme School Holidays Kiwi style – Praying Mantis Vs Fly

X-Treme School holidays Kiwi style - Praying Mantis Vs Fly

It’s school holidays here in New Zealand. When drawing, playing soccer and Mine Craft have run their course, my young girls normally set about finding a new hobby. In this case one that involves death and mayhem.

Goodnight, Mr Fly.

40 things no one told me about life

Turning 40 has me in a contemplative mood, so here are a few things I’ve learnt in the past four decades.

1. Yelling at the TV does nothing for the outcome of your favorite sports team

2. Arseholes get promotions

3. Once you’ve been burgled, you’ll never arrive home and think you haven’t been

4. Tequila is Satan

5. Girls come and go. Friends go and get beer

6. Aging doesn’t just happen to other people

7. Persistance isn’t sexy

8. No one knows what they’re doing. Those who look like they are, can only explain it by looking back

9. You’ll never stop writing ‘Yes please’ when a form enquires about your sex

10. Any funeral will set you off if you have formerly lost someone close

11. Don’t offer to write on the whiteboard if you don’t know how to spell

12. You will cry at the birth of your first child. Or any child for that matter

13. And probably at your wedding

14. Nothing beats learning a musical instrument or a language.

15. Crazy socks matter

16. Bad smells can bring good memories. Sewerage for this author = Barcelona

17. Sleepwalking can be dangerous

18. That hipster over there likes Huey Lewis and the News but can’t tell anyone

19. Everyone is facing their own battle

20. Eating green leaves gives you energy

21. Mechanics confuse you on purpose

22. Even Hawaiians have Mondays

23. Your parents knew where you were every goddamn second of the day

24. ‘Two sides to every story’ is a cliche until your friend ends up in the shit

25. Instead of giving us time to relax, modern technology just makes us do more

26. Life speeds up mainly because, unlike kids, adults do the same dreary stuff every day

27. You can have crap days on holiday

28. Just because the title says ’40 THINGS’ doesn’t mean you need to write ’40 THINGS’

Set your own rules. Use the force. Have an awesome life.

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‘Porirua’ as sung by Leonard Cohen

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This morning NZGT judge and all round good dude Chris Judd swung by to see us. But first he had to tolerate our festive song (‘We wish you a merry Chris Judd) which he told us was ‘Awesome, I’ve never had a song written about me.’  Clearly he was just being nice.

There are many performers who shouldn’t get near the stage in NZGT. Luckily, as a judge, Chris seems insightful, honest and actually cares. He also says what we all think. ‘To be a teacher and mentor,’ he told us. ‘You must have empathy for everybody and guide the next generation. As a judge, I’ve got the best seat in the house.’

Awkward interview moment? When I suggested how much I enjoyed 10-year-old Oceania Olsen singing ‘Porirua’ by Leonard Cohen. (Jokes. It was a beautiful version of ‘Hallelujah’ sung in Maori, but I secretly wished someone finally wrote a song about poor old P-Town.)

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Erik Thomson from Packed to the Rafters

‘Packed to the Rafters’ is drawing to a close and one of its most loved characters Erik Thomson (who plays Dave the Dad) tells us about a movie called ‘Justin Brown.’

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$50 says you won’t know this actor’s name

colm

You should because he’s been around a long time. In fact, looking through his IMDB profile would suggest he’s starred in every TV show since YEAR DOT. Star Trek, Remmington Steele, Moonlighting, Macgyver and The Simpsons. Not to mention movies. His roles in Con-Air, Under Siege and Die Hard 2 would suggest he has a penchant for hijacking plots, but he also plays wonderful down-to-earth characters inspired by Roddy Doyle’s Barrytown Trilogy: The Committments, The Van and The Snapper.

This morning on our radio show we spoke with him about ONE CHANCE, the true life story of phone-salesman-turned-singer Paul Potts. Having never watched an episode of Britain’s Got Talent, the man pictured initially thought he be whisked off to Cambodia to play the former leader of the Khmer Rouge. Alas, he would stay in Britain and become Paul’s father Roland, a man set in his ways and very much against any son of his becoming a singer. This wasn’t a stretch for the Irishman in the photo as his own father reacted similarly when he said he was set to become an actor. ‘(You f-cking what?).

So, do I keep my $50?

A. Legendary Irish actor Colm Meaney.

But you knew that…

 

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